Thursday, April 10, 2014

Motivation - Time x Frustration = Nothing

Maybe what I really wanted 
Was to prove that I could do things right.- Mulan

You know, I almost wrote this last night, which would have been a huge mistake. The title would have read something like "Frak this shit, I'm done!" and the body would have been much the same. I've had time to calmly reflect and think about what I want to say now, and I think it will be a little better... at least I hope. ;)

So, here's the breakdown. We've been in these challenge groups for 4 weeks. That's 4 weigh ins (they were actually unofficial, but it is something to keep us accountable to the group), and we've been keeping pretty good tabs with each other ever day through our group page. Adah has probably been my strongest supporter (whether she knows it or not). 

But I'm going to jump back just a little further... back back back to when I started this, started everything, around the first of the year. I started out at 191.2... I tried to follow the squat and push-up challenge, but quickly found out that I'm forgetful and couldn't remember to do it every day, no matter how hard I tried. I increased my activity, lowered the junk, quit soda, and while I struggled, I made it down to 187 by March 12... WTF? 4.2 pounds in 3 1/2 months??? Oh for fraks sake! 

So when Shrinking Jeans started their next challenge, I was all on board, thinking I would be better! I joined my group (enter Adah and the Ladies) and plotted with them to lose. Started the challenge on 3/12 at 187, and the following week I lost 2.4! Woo! On 3/19 I was at 184.2... I increased activity, lowered junk even more (occasional poker games and trips eating out though, but made up for it with exercise after), aaaannnnndddd nothing! I would fluctuate. I would even drop to 183 the day before weigh in... but come Wednesday? 184.2. Shit. Ok... so this is what it looked like (cause the text can be confusing):

3/12: 187
3/19: 184.2
3/26: 184.2
4/2: 184.2
4/9: 184.2

Ahhh! What is that??? I'm even walking MORE since the 3rd because Laura T. and Karen and I have a walking/biking mileage challenge, which I'm actually doing pretty well at! It's been a week and I've accomplished about 10 miles of the 50 mile challenge... more than I actually thought I would lol.

So what the actual fuck is up with my weight then? And don't give me the "maybe your body shape/measurements are changing" because I have measured every which way I can. Nothing has changed. I'm pretty pissed. Pretty despondent. I could eat my weight in hot wings or eat salad for a week straight... doesn't fraking matter. UGH! Any thoughts would be great right now...... Cause I'm just about done caring and close to accepting DUFF status (that's Designated Ugly Fat Friend if you didn't know). 

Thanks for letting me rant!


  1. It seems you and I are in sync. I haven't really blasted my weight through this current challenge because i'm stagnant as well. can't pass the hump. I just want you to focus on the lack of gain! Any weigh in day is a good day if that number doesn't go up. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't stress so much about that number. The changes inside are what's important at this point in the game. The fact that you're trying and sticking to it makes you amazing! Maybe make a personal challenge to stay off the scale longer (after the final weigh in of course). If you're worried, anxious, or stressed about what that damn number says every wed morning, you're not reaping all the benefits of that hard work. Ease up on yourself and have a little fun with it rather than give up without a fight. :) I believe you can do it and find a way to make it work for you! These changes all happen differently for each person based on what they do, what they eat, etc. There's no easy how to guide. Just that gentle or not so gentle reminder that you have to keep going because you're doing this for so many reasons and more. :)

    1. Thanks Sarah! I replied to this a few days ago, but I guess it didn't post... so I'll try to remember what I said. You are right, I should be glad that I'm not gaining! Not looking at this the right way. I need to log my food more, which is something I did in the beginning. I've really got to step this up, so I can join you and get out of the 180's!

  2. I am in the same place. And I've been blaming it on my age (38) and the fact that maybe my metabolism is shot? I don't know. The thing that keeps me hanging on is that if I hadn't been trying to lose weight all this time, I probably would have GAINED weight, and would most likely be 15 pounds heavier than my current weight. I've lost about 7 pounds since 1/1 - not stellar, but it's something. So don't give up. Maybe you're in a slump or plateau, and maybe next week things will change. Just keep going, because really, this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. (Just keep saying it in your head.) HUGS!!

    1. Thanks Christy! Glad I'm not alone in this! I'm 30, so IDK, maybe age does have something to do with it?? I know just being women we have the short end of the stick when it comes to weight loss. I will keep it up, and I'm going to switch it up, try some new things... see if that doesn't work. Will there be another challenge after the group one is over? I think these are really helpful, even if I don't lose much ;)

  3. And that posted under the Sisterhood account, but this is Christy (Virginia Christine Mensi <-----gotta love my parents for that one ;)

  4. Wish I knew what to tell you. I've been between 186 and 192 since August! (HUGS)

    1. Thanks Desiree! I wish I lived closer, then I could have you come kick me into gear lol