Um... Wow... It's Been A While Huh?

 I'm in the "ugly" phase....

So, I have been seriously unmotivated here lately... I mean... waaaaay unmotivated. I will do good to follow my diet for a few days, and then boom.... off the rails again. It's time to be completely honest now. I haven't been on my game since late July. Yeah... I said it. July. That's a little over 7 months (because I can't pinpoint when it actually happened). How sad is that??? 

I can kinda pinpoint the cause though... See, I was doing so good with my LCHF diet. I mean super good. I followed it to the letter. I lost weight (and inches).... life was good. Then someone suggested I do Carb Nite Solution. I talked about my experience after it happened, here. But the basic principal of the Carb Nite Solution was this: you eat super low carb 6 days a week, and on the 7th day, in the last half of the day, you bombard yourself with carbs. There's "science" behind this, and some people make it work. I was not one of them. Again, I followed the diet to the letter, but nothing. Not only did I not lose anything doing this, but I also stopped losing altogether. I had been so freaking proud to get into the 160's, and then bam... stuck. 

Why is that where it all went sideways? Well, I hadn't had carbs in 3 months... then suddenly I ate a bunch of them.... once a week for 4 weeks. That did me no favors. My body craved it... and I think that's why I still haven't been able to get on track now. And honestly, my lack of motivation doesn't help. Let's not completely fool myself, eh?

What does this mean? Well, I'm off work this Friday-Sunday, so I'm going to recommit. I'm going back to what I did last May, when I first started, and was successful. My husband is going to (kinda) do this with me, and has promised to keep temptation away. I think this will be good for me. I also think I'm going to start taking food to work with me, so I'm not tempted by all the goodies there. It's time to get my shit together, and stop messing around. 

Thanks for reading! I know it's been forever, and I'm sorry. This is part of my recommitment, and also taping and posting for my youtube channel as well. It's going to take time, but I've got to do this. I would like to be at my goal weight by my birthday (12/4) so we will see what I can do.

Oh What a Year!

What a year this has been, huh? I went back and read some of the posts from the beginning of 2014, and while I didn't really achieve all the goals I wanted to, I also came so much farther than I ever thought I would. Honestly, I figured I would give up after Easter, when I pretty much hit "rock bottom." But, instead of throwing in the towel, I actually started trying (what a concept, huh?) and started slowly losing weight. Then I started my LCHF diet and actually started losing some serious weight. 

I don't know if I mentioned it on the blog, but I started doing this "Carb Nite Solution" during the summer, and (while it works for some) it completely frakked up everything I had accomplished. I had gotten down to 169.8 in July, and was so excited to be in the 160's. Guess what? Starting with the CNS, I stayed in the 160's as I made one bad decision after another. It was always just a little cheat here, or a little nibble there (ok... a big nibbles) and while it was never enough to make me gain, I sure as shit wasn't losing either. So in December, after all my attempts to be good during the holidays were smashed down with the invisible hammer of temptation, I just gave up for the month. 

I posted on the first of December that I weighed 167.2. Keeping in mind, in July is when I first broke into the 160's, I knew I had to do something. So I didn't weigh for the whole month, I ate whatever the hell I wanted (i.e. candy, breads, potatoes.... carbage). I am happy to report, that through all of that, I came out yesterday to the scale and it was at 168.4. I can handle a 1.2 lb gain. I'm okay with that, really. I have been floating up and down within the same 5 lbs for months... so it was no big deal, and I kinda enjoyed myself over the holidays. I will say this though, my acne came back, I got an ulcer, and I was tired all the time. So, while I enjoyed eating the things I hadn't eaten in a long while, I also payed for it. Dearly.

But! For the year, I lost 22.8 lbs, and about 25 inches from all over. I would say that's not bad since I almost quit. :D

So! Now I'm back on track, and ready to start the next adventure. I joined an unofficial Diet bet (basically you don't have to pay any money, because I'm a broke bitch), where basically you try to lose 4% of your body weight in 4 weeks. Now, if you do a real Diet Bet, you put money on the line. If you win, you stand to gain some cash. If you don't then you lose it. I don't have money to lose! That's why I'm doing a free one lol.

So! Here's to a new year, with new(ish) goals! Hope you all have a great year too!

Taking a little break....

Wow... so goals? Out the window... Diet? Same.... Sanity? Yup, that's gone too. 

This holiday season has just been dragging at me. So much stress. And you know what my comfort object is? Sugar. *Sigh* This is not, I repeat, NOT me quitting my diet. This is just me taking a small break, where I do not stress out about the number of carbs I'm eating, because frankly, I do not need another thing to think about right now. 

Please do not get me wrong. The diet I follow is not hard, at all. I just use more brain power making sure I make good choices. I do not have that brain power to spare right now. 

So. I will be back on the 1st. I will still keep my fat ass off the scale (Laura, I'm looking at you on this!) and will report back, refreshed and better than ever. I will have my exercise plan in hand, and I'll be back on my diet. I'm looking forward to 2015, guys, and I hope you are too!

As always, I thank my wonderfully supportive ladies for being the awesome people they are!

Let's just call this "Sadly failed Saturday," shall we?

Oh man, oh man!! Have I just really failed all my goals this week or what? I totally meant to post on Wednesday, but I had to take my mom shopping and that literally took ALL DAY. So I then meant to do it Thursday (my birthday), but I had to take my mom out again. That, too, took ALL DAY. I don't even know what happened to Friday. But I need to get my ass back on track (in more ways than one).

So, let's just cut to the chase, shall we? Because, frankly, I'm at a loss for this whole week, and I need to get my shit together and form a better plan. One that I can be more consistent with.

Blog: 2 times to get back into the swing of things. (Fail!)
Vlog: Film 3 videos, and post at least twice a week. (Fail! But in my defense, I usually do these on my days off... so I'm going to work on some tomorrow... but I only posted once last week.)
Book: *New Goal: Start a new book and get at least 6 chapters read. (Fail!! Will get on it this week)
Diet: No more cheating, back on track. Track with MFP at least 4 days this week. (I have decided to remove this from my goals. I will come up with something else though, for this area. What could I do instead?)
Fitness: Try to get 8000 steps a day, even on my off days. (Failed...again. I'm starting to think these goals are not good for me lol.)

Weight: Unknown. I started a new challenge, and can't weigh til the 1st of January. I'M DYING and it's only day 6. Ugh!

What are some goals that you work on? 

31 Days to Insanity

Image from this site

So... I might have mentioned before... I weigh myself every day. Sometimes twice or even three times a day. It's a sickness. I'm even aware of it. But it's something that I always feel compelled to do. It's been driving me crazy here lately. I usually do it to measure my progress, and see if I might need to change things. 

Here's the thing though... I have been in the 160's since July. I'm not really sure what's up with that, but I stalled out, and then it took forever for the scale to slowly move down... then up... then down... grrrr.... so frustrating! 

And the thing about the scale that's killing me? I think when I see that I've been stalled for a few days, I just get frustrated and cheat on my diet (i.e. I eat a massive amount of carbs). Then I gain a few pounds of water weight, and then I drop down again... and the cycle starts again. 

Why am I telling you this?? Because Laura, one of my bestest best friends, instigated a challenge this month. No scale. None. Hide it, get rid of it, loan it to a friend... but absolutely no weighing til January 1st. 

I'm seriously freaking the fuck out.

But I will do this. Why? Because I'm becoming way too obsessed with this number that is only one small definition of who I am. So. Here is my weight, and measurements, and then I'm done until the first of January. I can do this. That little machine has no power over me.

12/1/14
Weight: 167.2
Bust: 39
Waist: 32.5
Arms:10
Hips: 40.5
Thighs: Right- 20.25  Left- 20.25

Alright. So this is what I have going on right now. So far, since I started measuring, I have lost 22.25 inches off my total body. That's pretty freaking impressive. I never thought I would be at this point. Hell, I never thought I would try and stay with a diet this long. Figured I would be back to being fat and unhappy and trying to think up a New Year's Resolution I might stick with. Well, dammit, I stuck with this one. 

Now I'm going to hide my scale. Are you brave enough to do the same?

Weigh In Wednesday (Two Days Late)

Hey guys!

Hope everyone (that celebrates) had a fantastic Thanksgiving! I know I did! I love making plans.... because then I break them, and wonder why I tried in the first place... lol. But at least I kept it in mind! And honestly, I didn't do too bad. I had turkey and deviled eggs, stuffing (regular, just a little bit), roasted potatoes (just a little), real potato salad (mom made me feel bad, and I had a moment of weakness), and green bean casserole (not terrible carb-wise). All in all, I could have definitely made better choices, but you know what? I decided that it would only be one day, and I got right back on plan today. 

That is the amazing thing about knowing what you want to do with your goals... you can keep yourself in check just a bit better.

As for goals:

Blog: 2 times to get back into the swing of things. (I did this, but also missed my Wednesday update... but dang it, I wasn't home hardly at all that day.)
Vlog: Film 3 videos, and post at least twice a week. You can check out my YouTube channel here! (I did better! I actually filmed 5 videos, but lost one... figured out my mistake, so I won't do that again. I think I only posted 1 though. I know I can do better this week.)
Book: I really miss reading! I need to start a new book. (Not only did I get halfway through the book, I finished it!! I think I had it finished by Sunday actually! Jason and I had a rare day where we just sat and read in quiet. Loved it! *New Goal: Start a new book and get at least 6 chapters read.

 Diet: No more cheating, back on track. Track with MFP at least 4 days this week.(I have decided to remove this from my goals. As I said last week, I just don't keep up with it like I should. I will come up with something else though, for this area)
Fitness: Try to get 8000 steps a day, even on my off days. (Failed... On my days off, it's either been really way to cold to move around, or I've been extremely busy. I will try better this week.)

Wednesday Weigh-In: 165.8 

While I'm not happy at all with this weight, I am not truly at fault for this. First of all, it was before Thanksgiving, and I didn't cheat once. Second, I hurt my back really bad at work on Saturday, and had to take a steroid. It made my weight change within 2 days. Also made me sick as hell, so I quit taking it. I'm sure the weight will even out again soon. 

So, what with my one day of Thanksgiving madness out of the way, I'm hoping to be better behaved for the rest of the week. We will see what happens to my weight then.

Hope you all have a great week!

P.S. Guess what I found at my Dollar Tree?? So excited!

Really? So close already?

Image from ruthtobias.com (yes, I believe that is bacon on the turkey, and that is okay with me)

Is it just me... or did you know that the end of the year is like RIGHT THERE? Did it sneak up on anyone else, or am I the only oblivious person out here? 

Like, Thanksgiving is in 2 days..... did you just hear me? TWO DAYS!!! 

This is the time of year that we need to be extremely diligent with our diets. My plan? Well, since I'm following a low carb/high fat diet, I will enjoy the hell out of some turkey. Then I am making alternative side dishes so I can enjoy, like cauliflower faux-tatoes, some coconut flour pop-overs, cauliflower faux-tato salad, and SF cheesecake fluff. I will still be making all my fully carby stuff for the rest of the family to enjoy, but I will not give in to temptation. I don't want to be side tracked, and I sure as hell don't want to be fat anymore. So I will stick with it, and make it through. I learned my lesson at Easter (of course, I wasn't lchf then, but still).

So what are you going to do? What is your plan? If you go into the holidays with a plan, you stand a better chance of sticking with your goals. Just saying....